From India to Wisconsin: Exploring Masculinity, Christianity, and Disability with Amar Peterman
I recently had the privilege of interviewing Amar Peterman, a good friend and an Indian American scholar whose work resides at the intersection of faith and public life. He maintains a diverse portfolio as an author, speaker, and consultant for some of the leading faith-based organizations in the US. Additionally, he writes a Substack newsletter titled This Common Life.
I met Amar through our involvement with Interfaith America, the nation’s largest interfaith organization. Our connection was immediate, stemming from shared experiences of navigating the complexities of cultural identity as Americans of Indian descent.
Amar graciously agreed to open up about his personal journey, providing insights into the intricate tapestry of his cultural identities. From his upbringing in Wisconsin to grappling with nuances of masculinity through his religion, high school dynamics, and his experience with disability.
As a fervent writer and theologian, Amar’s commitment lies in uncovering meaningful common ground and advocating for a paradigm shift toward love and understanding. Learn more about Amar by visiting his website.
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
Suraj: Hi Amar! Thank you joining me today. I’m thrilled to chat with you today.
Amar: I’m happy to be here!
Suraj: I started The Multicultural Man to celebrate stories of cultural diversity and healthy masculinity. Do you mind sharing a bit about your cultural or religious background?
Amar: Sure. I was born in northern India, particularly Delhi. Before I was a year old, I was brought to the United States as an adoptee. I was raised in a small, Polish Catholic village called Pulaski.
Suraj: What did your day-to-day look like?
Amar: I grew up with Polish Catholics, ate Polish food and celebrated Fat Tuesday. I went to Booyah parties. I played in polka bands as a high schooler. Culturally, I very much was shaped and formed in the liturgies of a small town in rural Wisconsin.
Suraj: What was your religious or philosophical upbringing like?
Amar: I grew up in the white evangelical tradition. In my early years, I had grown up in the church but did not understand what was happening. As a ninth grader, I decided that I wanted to be a Christian and started going to youth group. I ended up at an internship with the church as a worship leader. You know, one of the jean jacket-wearing, guitar-rocking worship leaders. I was deeply formed spiritually through white evangelical Christianity. There was a continued reckoning with that for what Christianity means for me today.
Suraj: You mentioned that you were born in India. What was your relationship with Indian culture like growing up?
Amar: My parents, who are white, tried to bring my sister (who is also adopted) and I into places where we could be in touch with our Indian heritage. In southern Wisconsin, there was a small gathering of adoptive families who had kids from India. We would all meet at this campground, hang out with each other, listen to South Asian music, and play cricket.
Suraj: That is amazing. What a great way to connect with other similar families. It provides a support system for the parents as well.
Amar: Yeah, my mom also worked at an international company. There were a lot of South Asian coworkers living in Wisconsin. She would talk with them and ask about recipes for food. She frequented the South Asian grocery store in Green Bay. There were small touchpoints in my life, but the overall formation, as you can imagine, was Polish Catholicism and white Evangelicalism.
Suraj: Now that you spend so much time in Chicago, how has that impacted your multiple cultural identities?
Amar: When I got to Chicago for undergrad, I interacted with other South Asians in a way that was more prolonged than just a couple days at a retreat. You know, my parents and wife call me Amar (Ah-mar). When I met these South Asian students, I would introduce myself this way and they were very confused by that. It was a weird identity crisis.
Suraj: I can definitely relate! I’m curious about the intersection of a few your identities, specifically being of Indian descent and white evangelicalism. Did you meet others who hold both identities?
Amar: Yes! I met South Asian people who were Christians in India and then came to the United States, and then there were South Asian people who came to the States and converted to Christianity while they were here. Actually, I met a South Asian professor, Ashish, on my campus in the theology department. His whole family is Hindu. He converted to Christianity. He had a deep admiration and respect for the tradition of his parents. He had his own story and journey with religion as well.
Suraj: I’m glad that you had a professor who could serve as a role model for you when it came to being of Indian descent as a Christian. Did you find that your relationship with Christianity influenced your understanding of masculinity?
Amar: Broadly speaking, American evangelicalism is a theologically and socially conservative movement that embraces a lot of patriarchal visions of what the household looks like. There is a great book called Jesus and John Wayne by a friend of mine, Kristin Kobes Du Mez. It charts the more recent history of American evangelicalism that ties the vision of Jesus to a John Wayne-like, rough, gun slinging, cowboy-like warrior who sweeps women off their feet and is ready to fight anyone.
That was the vision of masculinity that I was given and its equated to Jesus. There are these depictions of a muscular, bodybuilder Jesus that is nailed to a cross, but breaking the cross across his back. However, when I read the Bible, the Jesus I see is meek, lowly, a servant, and leads by sacrificing himself to the power of the empire and paradoxically in doing so, he defeats the empire by establishing what Christians would say is the kingdom of God.
Suraj: How did these conflicting views around masculinity play out in your daily life?
Amar: Growing up in America, I questioned what the vision of masculinity is. And what does that mean for me as someone who is disabled?
Suraj: Can you say more?
Amar: I wanted to be the cool guy who plays football, is great at all these sports and is in great shape. All kinds of stereotypical things. I reached a point where I couldn’t be that. I was not going to be the star of the football team. Instead, I ended up taking music. I mentioned that I was on staff as a worship leader at the church that I grew up in. There were multiple types of masculinity. If it’s not the overly muscular football player, then it’s the guy who plays guitar, sings, and serenades. It’s this niche masculine role that takes place in evangelicalism. These guys playing worship music and women being drawn to their leadership and spiritual maturity. I picked up playing the guitar to fit into that mold.
Suraj: It reminds of me of the type of masculinity that musicians hold, which differs significantly from the football player-type that you mentioned. Would you say that being involved in music changed how you perceived masculinity?
Amar: Interestingly, I’ve actually been thinking about this recently. When I was a worship leader and singing more frequently, I had a higher range. Traditionally, the stereotypical masculine voices are low and baritone. I didn’t want to be a tenor, so I had this crisis around singing. I tried to pitch down all of the songs that I was leading. I sang in a lower register.
Around college, I started to listening to different music and realized that people can sing in higher ranges. It doesn’t emasculate you to sing in a higher range. It was formative for me to make that realization. It’s okay to not have to have the lowest voice.
Suraj: When I listen to your story, it makes me think of your decision tree. At first, you looked at the top perceived masculine role in your environment, which was the jock or the football player. When you realized you couldn’t do that, then you moved to music. Within music, you looked for the top perceived version of masculinity, which was singing in a particular way. It shows how these perceptions of masculinity are woven into every aspect of our lives. We have to perform all the time in order to be prove our masculinity.
Amar: Definitely!
Suraj: You previously mentioned your disability. Do you feel comfortable sharing more about that?
Amar: Sure! When I was in India as an infant, I contracted polio. It effectively atrophied in the quad muscle in my right leg. I wear a leg brace to walk. It affects my gait, so I walk with a limp. As much as I can, I have not let that hinder me from doing anything that I’ve wanted to do.
It could just inherently make me worse at some things. We talked about sports. When I’m in fifth grade, boys are playing at recess. It doesn’t matter. Then, I try out for the junior varsity football team, and now it matters.
Suraj: How has this impacted your perception of masculinity?
Amar: When it came to masculinity and within Christianity, it made me question how someone with a disability could protect the vulnerable. It was really tough. I have spent a lot of time in the academy. That was also an impulse tied to masculinity, but more so a mentality saying ‘if I can’t be good at this, I’m going to be good at this other thing.’ So, it wasn’t sports. It became music, and later became academics. Disability can still be a driver of telling me what I can’t do and what I can do, but it has nothing to do with what I can learn. It continues to be a formative aspect of my life.
Suraj: Thank you for sharing. So, how would you define healthy masculinity?
Amar: When I think of healthy masculinity, I think of Jesus. Jesus serves others in the way he puts his body physically between those who seek to cause harm and those who are victimized or marginalized by the broader community.
There is this story in the New Testament, where this woman is accused of adultery. She is thrown before Jesus. They are ready to stone her. Jesus stands between the stones that are about to be thrown at this women and the woman herself. He says that whoever is without sin cast the first stone. Each religious leader slowly puts their rock down and leaves.
Suraj: I love how that story shows masculinity through a protective lens instead of a combative one.
Amar: Yeah, Jesus didn’t pick up the stone and aim it back at them. He stands there, deeply protective.
Suraj: And he uses his words to stop violence, protecting everyone in the community. This is actually a great segue into my last question about community and the common good. Would you be willing to share more about the work you are doing?
Amar: I am a writer and a theologian. I have a newsletter called This Common Life and a book coming out with the same name. It’s focused on the intersection of the common good, neighbor love, and faith formation.
My vision for the common good is deeply local. It’s saying not only are you both humans, you share this neighborhood. You both want what is best for this neighborhood. You want there to be less homelessness, increased access to education, libraries, museums, and thriving restaurants and businesses. My work is trying to help people recognize meaningful spaces of commonality and the importance of formation and a movement towards love.
Suraj: I love that. Thank you so much for sharing your experiences with me!
Amar: Anytime!