How do we redefine masculinity?
“We need to redefine masculinity.”
I hear this phrase often when the topic of masculinity comes up. While I agree that change needs to occur, I often think about what another definition of masculinity would look like.
In the conversations I have with men, I hear what aspects of traditional masculinity they do not connect with.
They do not suppress their emotions; they express them.
They do not believe women and other gender identities should be treated with less respect than men; they believe all people should be respected equally.
They do not engage in violence; they use their words to resolve conflict.
The list goes on…
It is clear to me what aspects of traditional masculinity we do not want to promote or maintain. It is also clear that emotional expression, equality, peaceful conflict resolution, and other similar traits are what many men are currently expressing and prioritizing.
Are those traits how we redefine masculinity? How do those traits different from femininity? Is it important that they differ? Should masculinity and femininity be a list of traits in the first place?
I don’t have the answers to these questions. I’m not sure that society does yet either. As a society, we know that many negative behaviors and actions (e.g., sexual harassment, violence) have been a result of traditional masculinity – and that needs to change.
Yet, should we redefine masculinity completely? Not all aspects of traditional masculinity are negative – strength, bravery, assertiveness, etc. In some cases, to be brave or assertive is a positive trait, especially when it comes to protecting yourself or others. However, in other cases, being brave may be a negative trait, if it comes at the cost of one’s health. Problems arise when men attach this list of traits to their identity as a man, feeling that they need to uphold a rigid definition of how they can live their lives and express themselves.
I started The Multicultural Man because I noticed that this rigid adherence to traditional masculinity led to poor outcomes related to health and peace. I wanted to shed light on stories from men who are upholding expressions that are healthy for them and peaceful for society, serving as role models for others to follow.
As we rethink masculinity as a society, I believe we need to consider what the goal of masculinity is in the first place. How does it benefit us to have masculinity? Is it to inform boys and men on how they should behave? Is it to convey a specific energy? Is it a value system, or possibly a set of behaviors?
Once we figure out the goal, it’s imperative that we chart a course toward a society where boys, men, and people with a masculine gender expression can exist in a society in healthy and peaceful ways.