The Art of Cultural Juggling: Thoughts from a Third Culture Kid

As a child, I noticed cultural differences in how the world operated outside of my home and within it. My Indian parents had their own customs and traditions that seemed to be different than my American friends and neighbors. While both cultures were beautiful to me, I had trouble knowing what beliefs, behaviors, and customs belonged to each culture. For instance, do all people leave their shoes at the door before entering a home or does that just happen in my Indian home? Or, do all children start to experience independence during their teenage years or does that just happen among my American friends?

It wasn’t until I reached young adulthood that I was able to parse out which beliefs, behaviors, and customs belonged to each culture. Fortunately, I encountered other individuals who shared similar experiences. While our backgrounds varied slightly, it was comforting to know that others were also straddling the lines between multiple cultures.

In my early twenties, I came across the term third culture kid (TCK), which was coined by the American sociologist and anthropologist Ruth Hill Useem in the 1950s. A TCK is an individual who has spent a substantial part of their developmental years living in one or more countries that differ from their parent’s home countries or their own country of citizenship. Therefore, TCKs blend elements from their parents’ cultures with the culture of the countries they reside in, forming a unique third culture.

For instance, my parents were born and raised in India. They moved to the U.S., where I was born. Being raised in the U.S., I now balance Indian culture and American culture. As a result, I develop a third culture that blends Indian and American cultures together.

Similarly, other TCKs often find themselves creating their own unique third cultures. There are many commonalities that emerge when blending multiple cultures. Many TCKs tend to possess a global perspective, as they nurture an appreciation for cultural diversity. Multilingualism is common, whether it is a result of exposure to various cultures or out of necessity. Many question identity and belonging since they may not find themselves aligning with one cultural identity or group.

Additionally, TCKs tend to exhibit resilience and adaptability, skills built from the need to navigate diverse social environments and respond to various cultural expectations. While these commonalities exist, it is also important to acknowledge that there are differences, given that this blending of multiple cultures is orchestrated by kids attempting to make sense of the world.

As we move from a third culture kid into an adult, it somehow gets easier and more confusing at the same time. It becomes easier because we now possess the language and tools to discuss the challenges and complexities we encounter. However, it remains confusing because adulthood brings in a fresh set of complex challenges.  

As adults, we grapple with questions about how we want to structure our lives, form relationships, approach parenting (if we decide to become parents), define our religious identities, advocate for various social causes, connect with older generations, push back against societal expectations, safeguard our mental well-being, and more. There are many life experiences in that we must harmonize diverse cultural ideas and customs in a way that resonates with our own values and beliefs.

I foresee more individuals that will need to encounter this phenomenon in a world where global migration and exposure to diverse cultures are increasingly common. Some might not confront the juggling act of multiple cultures until later in life as well.

What is fascinating to me is that there is no definitive right or wrong way to go about this, but therein lies the challenge. So, I’m curious: what approach have you taken? How do you walk the line of multiple cultural values, beliefs, or traditions in your life?